My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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