4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize