I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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