Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
