You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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