There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
