i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
