At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
