I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
