paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
