I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
