Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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