i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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