i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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