All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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