So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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