haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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