So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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