4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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