Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
