I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
