But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
