He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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