ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
