So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
