marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
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