I molested 6 butterflies tonight
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
