last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
