Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
