she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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