I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize
