I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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