My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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