There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
