The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
