i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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