she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
