So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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