So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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