We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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