when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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