he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
BRING THE BAGELS
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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