Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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