Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
