I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
