Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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