I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
