can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
