Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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