Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
