she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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