You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
